Reminiscing

This past week, someone I knew back in the early 1980s called me.

As I thought about what I wanted to write this week, I landed on “Reminiscing.”

When was the last time you took the time to reminisce with someone you have lost touch with and see how they are doing?

That was the purpose of the phone call I received.

Wade reached out because we last saw each other at his 50th birthday party in Augusta, Georgia.

It’s also amazing that he got my phone number from someone I know well who lives a few houses away in the same neighborhood.

They were talking, my name came up, and, to my surprise, he gave him my phone number.

How we talk, treat people, and live our lives’ matters.

Sometimes we never know the impact of our empathy, leadership, character, or how we carry ourselves when we mentor others.

In the 1980’s as a soldier, I was responsible for the health and welfare of my two soldiers assigned to me.  I will get to the other one shortly.

Hearing him thank me for the leadership I provided, and how he uses the lessons learned then now, meant a lot.

At the end of our conversation, he asked whether he could pray for me, which I gladly accepted.  That’s a part of character.

As we closed out the conversation, he asked if I had Eric’s number.

Keep in mind that I hadn’t spoken to Eric in years, and it was a long shot that his phone number was still in my phone and hadn’t changed.

I texted Eric before bed and received a call the following morning.

Eric is the other Soldier I was responsible for, assigned to me for his health and welfare.

Both Eric and Wade were Privates in the Army, and I was their Sergeant during my second tour in Germany.

I was a young Sergeant (E5) then, and was promoted to Staff Sergeant (E6).

When I think back to the early 80s, I had a great conversation with Eric for about twenty minutes.

After I hung up with Eric, I realized Eric and Wade set the stage for my next duty assignment as a Drill Sergeant at Fort Benning, Georgia.

I was an Infantry Drill Sergeant who had just finished three years with the 2^nd Armored Cavalry in Nuremberg, Germany.

Every day, we stayed on high alert, and they would call a drill early in the morning when everyone was supposed to be sleeping.

Life teaches you lessons along the way, and we pass them on to others who later tell you how well you passed the test.

I can tell you all three of us retired from the military, and all have done well for ourselves.

I wrote in my gratitude journal about connecting with each of them and what God’s grace has bestowed on me.

Today, I challenge you to take time to reflect and reminisce about a recent phone call with someone you have lost touch with over the past year.

I can honestly say I have nothing bad to say about Wade and Eric because their character hasn’t changed from then to now.

Truly, I am blessed to connect with my soldiers.

“You can’t reminisce too much. Because you’ve got to keep pushing forward, you know?” — Daniel Caesar

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” — Cesare Pavese

“Memories are the invisible threads that keep us tied to the people we love.” — Unknown

“It’s great to reminisce about good memories of my past. It was enjoyable when it was today.” — George Foreman

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/reminiscing/

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Work of Art

I often hear people say a specific person is a work of art.

It can be condescending or used to say something negative about a person.

Today, it is not the case.

Each of us is a work of art and a masterpiece.

The legendary John Wooden has said: “Make everyday a masterpiece.”

This week, as I reflect on life in general and on those around me who are no longer here today, I know God created a work of art within each of us.

Earlier this week, I learned of another of my peers passing away from something where his body didn’t function properly.

Often, we take for granted the simple pleasure of using the bathroom on our own.

I’m amazed by the complexity of the human body and how much better we must care for it.

Doctors study human anatomy and help us in that process, each specializing in their own area.

I have two nieces who are pediatric doctors working at different hospitals.

I know that their training is priceless, and parents depend on them for their children.

In the words of Father Vernon Huguley, my District Chaplain for the Gulf Coast District for Knights of Peter Claver, he always says, “Sometimes you must go through it to get to it.”

I find that so true every day as I age and better understand my own body.

I know we are each a masterpiece, because everything must work together for us to live.

Just like a watch tells time, its gears work in tandem.

I’m also reminded of the song “How Great Thou Art” when I think about my health and how we heal, and of the line, “Sometimes you must go through it to get to it.”

Many years ago, when I was in the military, I attended and graduated from a course called Master Fitness Class at Fort Benjamin Harrison, Indiana.

Although this course isn’t the same as it was in the 80s when I attended, I learned invaluable tools that still resonate with me today when it comes to our health.

We have to do a better job of caring for our bodies and eating properly.  One thing that sticks out most that I learned in the 80s is eating water-rich foods like fruits and vegetables.

Not to mention exercising.

Remember that your body is a work of art, and each day we must keep making it a masterpiece by living a healthy lifestyle.

Today, I challenge you to reflect on your body and the understanding that it is a work of art. How well are you working on your masterpiece?

“The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.” – Michelangelo

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/work-of-art/

 

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The clock doesn’t stop

Today, Monday, Oct. 12, is when both Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples’ Day are observed.

Columbus Day, celebrated on the second Monday in October, has been a federal holiday since 1892 and is celebrated nationwide with parades highlighting Italian-American heritage and pride, according to Smithsonian Magazine.

What’s open and closed on Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples’ Day?

Last Friday morning, while listening to Rick Piña’s Today’s Word Podcast, he said something powerful.

Today’s Word With Rick Piña

Rick said, “Life is nothing but a vapor.

This is so true of life: you are here today and can be gone today.

How we live our lives each day is so important, just like we witnessed during 9/11, when, in a matter of minutes, the people in the World Trade Center vanished without knowing how their day would be.

Because the clock doesn’t stop, I often hear people say on a Monday morning or after a long holiday that the weekend was too short.

They try to figure out where the time went.

Watching the clock isn’t good for us either, in my opinion.  Eventually we’re at a standstill, even though we feel time isn’t moving fast enough.

With football season well underway and many football fanatics around us, people live for the weekend.  I heard the Philadelphia Eagles will face the Jacksonville Jaguars on Sunday at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London.

Believe it or not, I didn’t know NFL teams were playing in London until recently.

“The Eagles’ participation in this London matchup reflects the NFL’s ongoing international expansion efforts.”

I’m sure all those loyal fans who traveled to London this past weekend are watching the clock, too, as they head back home this week. The anticipation of the game, and then the flights to catch to get back home.

By the way; “The Jags’ 19-17 victory over the Philadelphia Eagles on Oct. 11 at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium in London began with a 90-yard kickoff return for a touchdown by rookie Josh Cameron that was nullified by a holding penalty (along with three other flags, a fight and two players ejected) and it ended with Cam Little’s 57-yard walkoff field goal when holder Logan Cooke pulled down yet another high snap from backup long snapper DaVon Hamilton and got it down in time for Little to drill the ball through the uprights.”

Speaking of “the clock doesn’t stop.”

Wild plays bookend Jacksonville Jaguars’ victory over Philadelphia – Yahoo Sports

For those who grew up in my era, we lost a legend this past weekend: Mike Ditka died at 86. I’m sure Chicago is reflecting on who he was and what he meant to the city.

Chicago Bears legend Mike Ditka passes away at 86

The clock doesn’t stop, and I have learned over time that you cannot manage time; the clock doesn’t stop.

Sometimes we try, and time slips away, so we must make a concerted effort to stay on track with our tasks.

As my two weeks wind down, I’m humbled by how time has allowed my sister and me to bond and reconnect.

We weren’t disconnected, but spending ten days in the same space is precious time well spent.

In these moments, I’m humbled that she spent time with my wife and me, making everything easier for all of us.

Her husband joked that he would send me the bill, and no price could capture the comfort and care she provided.

As I listened to the news last Friday, with Governor Kay Ivey issuing mandatory evacuation orders, I thought about how the clock doesn’t stop, especially as Isaias strengthened into a major hurricane.

Ivey orders Alabama Gulf Coast tourists to evacuate ahead of Hurricane Isaias – al.com

Because of mandatory evacuation orders, many residents in Gulf Shores and Orange Beach, Alabama, had to decide whether to cross the bridge before it closed at noon last Friday.

I’m sure everyone affected by the evacuation order understands that the clock doesn’t stop, and those who wait until the last minute know the repercussions.

After finding where the storm hit, I called three people yesterday afternoon to triangulate the damage, as power still wasn’t on in Destin, Florida, when I called.

Today, I challenge you to reflect on your recent week and how it’s been for you.  Has the clock affected your mindset, or do you go with the flow of time?

Time can tick when there is no clock. ~Anne Rice

“We are hardly ever grateful for a fine clock or watch when it goes right, and we pay attention to it only when it falters, for then we are caught by surprise. It ought to be the other way about.”  ~Lord Chesterfield

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/the-clock-doesnt-stop/

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Why Every Growing Company Needs a Leadership Development Coach

Growth sounds like a good problem to have, until the cracks start showing in how your managers actually lead. New hires pile up faster than onboarding can keep pace, decisions bottleneck at the top, and the people you promoted for being great individual performers suddenly have to lead teams — a skill nobody taught them. That's usually the exact moment a company realizes it needs outside help.

Why Does a Growing Company Need Outside Leadership Support?

A motivational keynote can light a fire for a day. What actually closes that gap long-term is ongoing, structured support that sticks around past the applause.

What Does a Leadership Development Coach Actually Do?

A leadership development coach works one-on-one or with a team over weeks and months, not just a single session, to strengthen the specific skills a leadership role demands: decision-making under pressure, delegation, conflict resolution, and clear communication. Rather than a generic curriculum, the work is built around your organization's actual goals and adjusted as challenges shift. The emphasis stays on practice, not theory, so skills carry over into real meetings and real decisions rather than staying confined to a workshop room.

When Should a Company Bring In a Leadership Development Coach?

Most companies wait too long to bring in coaching support, usually until a specific problem forces the issue: a high performer who can't delegate, a team that keeps missing deadlines, or a new manager who's drowning six months into the role. The better time is earlier, before those patterns calcify into how your organization operates by default. Coaching brought in proactively tends to produce stronger results than coaching brought in as damage control after a resignation or a blown project.

How Is a Leadership Development Coach Different From a Mentor?

A mentor typically shares their own path and advice based on personal experience, which is valuable but isn't structured around measurable progress. A leadership development coach is different: it's a defined relationship with specific goals, regular check-ins, and accountability for applying what's discussed between sessions. Some leaders benefit from both at different points, but conflating the two often means a company ends up with informal advice instead of the structured skill-building it actually needed.

What Results Can You Expect?

Results vary by organization, but the pattern that shows up consistently is fewer repeated mistakes, faster decision-making, and managers who handle conflict directly instead of letting it fester. Teams led by someone who has gone through structured coaching tend to report clearer expectations and less turnover, since much of what drives people to quit traces back to poor management rather than the work itself. None of this happens instantly; it builds over a period of consistent engagement, not a single session.

How Do You Choose the Right Coach for Your Team?

Choosing the right fit matters more than choosing the most credentialed name available. Look for real leadership experience behind the coaching, not just a certification earned without ever having led a team under real pressure. Ask how sessions are structured, what a typical engagement length looks like, and whether the approach adapts as your organization's needs change, rather than running a fixed program regardless of fit.

If your growth has started exposing gaps in how your managers lead, that's usually a sign worth acting on rather than waiting out. The organizations that handle growth best tend to be the ones that invest in leadership capability before it becomes an emergency, not after.

Frequently Asked Questions

How much does a leadership coach cost?

Rates vary widely by experience and format, typically ranging from around $150 to $600 or more per hour depending on the coach's background and whether sessions are individual or team-based. Ask for a clear quote based on your specific engagement rather than comparing a single average figure.

What's the difference between a coach and a mentor?

 A mentor shares advice based on their own experience, while a coach works through a structured process with defined goals and accountability, focused on building a specific skill rather than offering general guidance.

How long does leadership coaching typically last?

Most engagements run several months to a year, with regular sessions spaced out to allow time to practice and apply what's discussed before the next check-in.

Can leadership coaching work for small businesses, not just executives?

Yes. Coaching is often associated with C-suite executives, but small business owners and first-time managers frequently see the biggest relative improvement, since they're usually leading without much formal training to begin with.

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We Remember

This past Friday, we remembered what happened during 9/11 over 25 years ago.

Some of us, like me, were still on active duty and remember the impacts we faced as we embraced change.

We remembered the wake-up call that we must be more vigilant and not take things for granted.

We remembered exactly where we were and what we were doing when the two planes hit the Twin Towers.

But what about the people who are reliving the scenario in their minds both in New York and the Pentagon?

Do we remember to pray for them and their families?

As I thought about what I wanted to write about this week, I focused on remembering our past and preparing for the future.

Those who never experienced that tragic day have no idea what we remember: that time was lost from our lives.

They have no idea why we go through the various procedures at airports or when entering military bases.

However, there are sometimes things that we must also remember regardless of the world situation.

I’m also aware that we take some things for granted and forget them because they may not seem important.

“The enormity of what happened on Sept. 11, 2001, and the aftermath has had a profound impact not only on the physical health of so many, but their mental health as well.”

9/11 had a profound impact on the mental health of tens of thousands of first responders, doctors say – CBS New York

The psychological effects of 9/11, in my opinion, are often forgotten, and we need to remember that many are suffering and need to be remembered in our prayers.

I would ask you to remember that we are a nation that does not always remember our past.

“A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday, does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we came from or what we have been about.”  ~  ― Woodrow Wilson

Today, I challenge you to reflect on why we need to remember certain things in our lives, especially those who lost their lives 25 years ago on September 11, 2001.

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/we-remember/

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Forever Grateful

This past week, I was forever grateful to attend my second Military Influencer Conference.  The location was Tampa, Florida.

While that might not mean much to you, I witnessed history.

Although I couldn’t attend the ceremony in Tampa at the Special Operations Memorial with Major Capers, a Medal of Honor Recipient, I met him in person the next day and got his book signed.

https://youtube.com/shorts/jQf8iHl_b8k?is=lBJFszQv_XKmv3z4

Last year I took pictures with him in Atlanta and at the Mighty 25 Gala.

I’m forever grateful for the BLK OPS team that went the distance in this historic moment.

Major Capers was one of two Marine Corps Legends recently awarded the Medal of Honor and inducted into the Hall of Heroes.

https://www.marines.mil/News/News-Display/Article/4521240/two-marine-corps-legends-awarded-medal-of-honor-inducted-into-hall-of-heroes/

The Iron Major: James Capers Jr.’s long road to the Medal of Honor

https://www.wearethemighty.com/history/the-iron-major-james-capers-jr-s-long-road-to-the-medal-of-honor/

On September 24, 2026, during the MIC, a special session entitled “Honor Delayed” featured Major Capers and other dignitaries.

Those dignitaries included Christopher McPhee (Secretary, BLK OPS); Manny Piñeiro (Chief Operating Officer (interim), USO Arlington, Virginia Founder & President, Making Time Count, LLC); and Benjamin (Ben) Lloyd Crump, an American attorney who specializes in civil rights and catastrophic personal injury cases such as wrongful death lawsuits.

As an audience member listening to all four men’s conversations, along with the moderator, Richard Brookshire, I found it truly time well spent.

Richard is part of the Black Veterans Project.

About Us | Black Veterans Project

Notably, Ben Crump said President Trump wanted to erase Dorie Miller’s history. Many of us know that Doris “Dorie” Miller was a U.S. Navy sailor, the first Black recipient of the Navy Cross, and a nominee for the Medal of Honor. Miller, a mess attendant second class aboard the battleship USS West Virginia, helped carry wounded sailors to safety during the attack on Pearl Harbor.

The Navy announced that the next American aircraft carrier will bear the proud name of USS Doris Miller, which is now in production.

Column: The USS Doris Miller is America’s aircraft carrier. We should never give it up. – Daily Press

So much of our history has been erased by the power of the pen, and I pray this doesn’t happen with Dorie Miller.

Over the last two-plus years, I have followed and listened to various documentaries produced by BLK OPS and am forever grateful and honored to see their commitment pay off with Major Capers finally receiving his Medal of Honor.

During this year’s Mighty 25 celebration, I heard the Guest speaker say, “Influence without impact is just noise,” followed by, “The best honors are treated like fuel to keep going.”

When I think about what it took for Major Capers to earn his Medal of Honor over 50 years later, I know several individuals were fueled to keep going until it was done.

That is why today’s blog title, “Forever Grateful,” resonates with me this Monday morning.

Today, I challenge you to reflect on something you are forever grateful for this past week.

“To all those broken or hopeless, I have learned this: Be grateful for every single person who was part of your story. The ones that hurt you. The ones that helped you. The ones that came, and the ones that left. They all taught you. Don’t think for a moment that any of it was random. There are no oversights with God. Only perfectly crafted chapters in each unique journey.”  ~Yasmin Mogahed

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/forever-grateful/

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Words

This past week, while listening to Pandora, I heard a song I hadn’t heard or paid much attention to.

It immediately caught my attention.

The song is called “Words” by Donald Lawrence.

Words LIVE · Donald Lawrence presents Music & Arts Global featuring Blanche

The song “Words” by Donald Lawrence. – Search

I am often reminded of the word’s others speak to me.

I’m also aware that words have power.

Many of us grew up learning the traditional nursery rhyme: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

Often, I hear people create a self-fulfilling prophecy with their words.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy In Psychology: Definition & Examples

As someone who has studied psychology, especially Self-Efficacy as taught by Albert Bandura, I’m humbled to understand the power of words and their effects.

Self-Efficacy: Bandura’s Theory Of Motivation In Psychology

How we speak to ourselves matters.

If we say we can’t do it then we can’t do it.

Why does how we speak to ourselves matter?

What self-talk are you using to sabotage your life?

Self-Talk: How You Do It Matters a Lot | Psychology Today

Our words also tie us to our character, who we are.

Character is an important part of who we are. It shapes our actions, thoughts, and how we treat others.

Therefore, when we use our words out loud, our character is on display for all to see.

The Psychological Power of Words | Psychology Today

Today, I challenge you to reflect on the words you use in your conversations and in your inner voice through self-talk.

What are you saying that helps or hurts you in becoming the best version of yourself?

I leave you with four quotes about words, and maybe one will resonate with you more than the others.

“With the right words, you can change the world.”  ~Walt Whitman

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”  ~Mother Teresa

“Words matter. They can define who you are and who you can become.”~ Brené Brown

“The words you speak become the life you live.” `~ Lisa Bevere

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/words/

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