Today my thoughts are entitled “Don’t Keep Records of Bad Things” after I had an epiphany about not keeping records of bad things when I reached for my pen to write a response that was given to me.

 

Immediately, I found myself reflecting on those words, knowing that yesterday ended last night.

 

Since 1993 I’ve learned and put into practice that after 24 hours I must try and let it go.

 

General Colin Powell, the first Black US secretary of state, had 13 rules for life and work, with one of them being “Get made and get over it.”

 

If it was good enough for him, it was good enough for me.

 

Black American trailblazer Colin Powell’s 13 rules for life and work

 

We’re all human and for the most part, I’ve been successful employing various hacks tied to emotional intelligence regarding self-regulation and self-awareness.

 

If you have not read any emotional intelligence books, I challenge you to invest some time reading and working on creating a high emotional intelligence (EQ).

 

Over the last five years, I have somewhat redefined what it means to let things go and better understand the triggers that bring them from an unconscious to a conscious state of being.

 

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion.”  ~ Dale  Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

 

Regardless of the situation, I know if I let my humanity get in front of my divinity, I will end up taking on something I don’t need in my life, particularly negative thoughts.

 

Jim Kwik calls them ANTS, (Automatic Negative Thoughts).

 

Stop the ANTs in Your Head with These Three Exercises — Jim Kwik

 

What about you?  Do you have a mechanism in place that automatically takes you back into your unconscious mind and tells you to stop?

 

Therefore, if you are going to stop keeping records of bad things, I recommend that you first think about ways to prevent it.

 

Maybe it’s staying distracted, praying, taking time to meditate, working on various time-consuming tasks, going for a walk, or just solid mental acuity.

 

I mentioned earlier that yesterday ended last night for a reason because for me that’s part of my thought process for letting things go.

 

Many of you also understand my mantra from the Dali Lama “Don’t let the behaviors of other people destroy your inner peace.”

 

How many people do you know who like to keep records of bad things?

 

There’s probably a reason that they keep records of bad things.

 

As I listen to people recount the hurts they carry with them, many ask me, “Is it sinful to keep a record of how others have hurt me?” They are thinking about 1 Corinthians 13:5, which says, “[Love] keeps no record of wrongs.” I find this question central for abuse victims.

 

Is It Sinful to Keep a Record of Wrongs? | CCEF Blog

 

Besides, there is a danger of keeping score when people do bad things.

 

The Danger of Keeping Score

 

Years ago, I remember hearing when we hold grudges and allow various thoughts to enter our minds or are not willing to let things go, we are drinking the other person’s poison.

 

Maybe you have heard those words or experienced them as well.

 

I learned about joy robbers over twelve years ago.

 

I also served as an Army Civilian Master Resilience Trainer (MRT) who, in turn, taught the skills of being resilient to my subordinates, and other Army civilians. Every day we should try to Hunt for the Good Stuff (HTGS).

 

Resiliency: Hunt the Good Stuff > Charleston District > Charleston District News Stories

 

DPRR: Create Positive Emotions

 

Joy robbers are everywhere and ironically this past weekend at Mass, Joy was part of the message from the letter of Paul to the Philippians.

 

Dealing with Joy Robbers – Pathway to Victory

 

I’m forever grateful that having faith is an important part of my life for not keeping records of bad things.

 

Ironically, also this week the third candle was lit for Advent symbolic of Joy.

 

There is a difference between joy and happiness.

 

The definition of joy is “a feeling that is evoked by wellbeing or good fortune,” whereas happiness is defined as a “state of wellbeing.” This implies that joy occurs for a brief, defined period of time, whereas happiness is a state of being that is, for the most part, ongoing.

 

Joy Vs. Happiness: What’s The Difference? | BetterHelp

 

Today, take some time and ask yourself what records of bad things you are keeping and what purpose are they serving you.

 

Maybe it’s a specific ego you are dealing with that could get you in trouble. This is another example of letting your humanity get in front of your divinity.

 

A person with a fragile ego has weak and inconsistent self-esteem. Their sense of self-worth is volatile and subject to the whims of life circumstances and others’ judgments.

 

7 Signs of a fragile ego & how to fix it

 

As I close with the knowledge that I may be speaking to the choir on this topic, therefore, if something resonates, I would love to hear about your various hacks or mechanisms in place.

 

On the other hand, if I’m speaking to you try and find a way to better understand why this is important in the long run.

 

I don’t want you to merely just to survive, I want you to thrive in all aspects of life.

 

On this Monday morning, “I still have joy” as Joe Pace sings the lyrics which are part of the hacks I have in place.

 

Each of us needs encouragement along the way and I challenge you to find yours and accept it in any way you can.

 

Bing Videos

 

“Love keeps no record of wrongs, but bitterness keeps detailed accounts.”  ~Craig Groeschel

 

https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/bible-study/what-is-the-significance-of-the-phrase-love-keeps-no-record-of-wrongs.html

 

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/dont-keep-records-of-bad-things/

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Have you ever thought about what defines your character and what others see in you as you that defines your character without any words spoken?

 

For me to do justice for this topic, today’s blog is intentionally a bit longer.

 

I could give you various quotes instead I’m giving you various insights to ponder.  Something inside of me always goes back to the character of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr as it relates to my character and leadership.

 

Why might you ask?  Because I wanted you to understand the word character while honoring our 39^th President of the United States.

“The ultimate measure of leaders is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Martin Luther King Jr | The Ultimate Measure Of A Man Quote | Successful Spirit

 

I’m always interested in how others see me.  Not that it matters that I’m going to change; however, to better understand my character because within my faith I want them to see Christ in me just like many use us saw Christ in Jimmy Carter.

Also, I believe it is worth mentioning the character of Jimmy Carter who died peacefully in his home, on December 29, 2024, at the age of 100 is one that some didn’t fully understand until he died.

 

Not long ago I came upon the YouTube video below of Vusi Thembekwayo, which helps my blog this week.

 

“You are ahead of where you are and will die before the world gets to where the world gets to know.” ~ Vusi Thembekwayo

 

That quote alone speaks volumes about Jimmy Carter.

 

Experience Vusi Thembekwayo’s Inspiring Leadership Talk in India!

 

When you think about our 39th President of the United States being awarded the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize for his work in finding peaceful solutions to international conflicts, advancing democracy and human rights, and promoting economic and social development; this alone is a milestone achievement.

 

I’m also sure his family and friends have truly appreciated the life lessons learned from his lifetime as well as I.

 

Jimmy Carter was ahead of his time which we learned about this past week.

 

What an honor as I watched this past Thursday (January 9, 2025) along with the rest of the world the State Funeral of former President Jimmy Carter being televised from Washington National Cathedral.

 

The Washington National Cathedral is beautiful and is the second-largest cathedral capable of seating 4000 people.

 

Washington National Cathedral | History & Facts | Britannica

 

It was also a National Day of Mourning that I took advantage of in listening intently to what was being said about Jimmy Carter.

 

President Jimmy Carter’s character was on full display.

 

In addition, having the Reverend Andrew Young speak at this historical event was an added touch.  I thought about the character of Rev. Andrew Young as he spoke about his time with Dr. Martin Luther King and being able to give his eulogy comments for President Jimmy Carter.  Both men Reverend Andrew Young spoke about embracing the civil rights movement.  Although the Reverend Andrew Young was unable to stand at his age, what a remarkable presence he made.

 

Joshua Carter, the grandson of Jimmy Carter spoke about his grandfather’s Sunday School Classes and Bible lessons taught each Sunday.

 

Joshua Carter, grandson of Jimmy Carter, reads at state funeral | Watch

 

Joshua also told us what he learned about the “growing chasm between the richest and the poorest people on earth.”  We can infer from listening to Joshua Carter that there was so much humility being displayed each Sunday as his grandfather helped those in need.

 

Joshua read a scripture from the Apostle Paul’s Letter to the Romans: (Chapter 8: 1-18 38, 39)

 

Romans 8:1-18,Romans 8:38-39 NIV – Life Through the Spirit – Therefore, – Bible Gateway

 

Romans 8 NIV – Life Through the Spirit – Therefore, – Bible Gateway

 

Jimmy Carter honored for humility and service at funeral | AP News

 

In addition, I learned there were some notable quotes associated with Jimmy Carter’s character.

 

Jimmy Carter’s funeral had many notable quotes | AP News

 

In case you missed it I have provided several links to review.

 

From Carter’s funeral, an American snapshot: A singular image, 5 presidents, 379 years of history | Britannica

 

I also took note of the character being displayed of all the five living Presidents in attendance and how they interacted with each other.

 

Being part of the President’s Club is another aspect of the character that is something to consider.

 

Interestingly enough, I watched the dynamics of each member of the President’s Club and their character, particularly as George Bush walked in and how the various people already seated greeted and acknowledged each other.

 

Until you understand the premise of “ingroups and out-groups”, then you won’t understand what I am saying.

 

What are ingroups and outgroups, you may ask?

 

Ingroups and Outgroups: How Social Identity Influences People – Effectiviology

 

I challenge you to re-watch the recording for yourselves, it’s over three and a half hours long.  However, it is worth every minute of watching the characters involved in this historic event.

 

‘A life of service’: President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral, Georgia memorials replay

 

Jimmy Carter funeral: All 5 living presidents attend ceremony

 

Initially, I thought about the song by the Shirelles- “Mama Said. “Mama told me there would be days like this when people look at you differently.

 

Jimmy Carter’s funeral captures the American story at a fraught political moment | CNN Politics

 

The other aspects of character particularly were those chosen for specific duties during his funeral.  The character of the men and women who brave the cold and whipping winds was amazing.

 

Band plays “Hail to The Chief” as Carter’s casket is transferred to horse-drawn Caisson

 

Bing Videos

 

Being a military person of 30 years, I know what it takes to be chosen for those in the special honor guard.

 

What it takes to be a presidential pallbearer

 

Having the honor to attend President Obama’s Inauguration (2009), in Washington D.C. it was one of the coldest days I had experienced in a long time. It’s a moment in time I will never forget.

 

I can envision it was no different for President Carter’s Funeral in 2025.

 

Inauguration Spectators Brave Frigid Temps : NPR

 

Jimmy Carter funeral: Frigid temperatures expected as nation honors late president | FOX 5 DC

 

If you watch the video the wind whipped the person holding the Presidential Flag.  That person had to have plenty of character. He needed all his weight to control the flag.

 

Also, watching the family waiting for several minutes in the cold for the casket and color guard to appear was another example of character as they played “Hail to the Chief.”

 

In case you’re wondering about the importance of “Hail to the Chief” you can better understand it here below because it is an honor to receive it.

 

Why Do We Play ‘Hail to the Chief’ for the President? | Smithsonian

 

I’ll close, by saying thank you for allowing me today to honor a man with great character and by allowing others to see his light shine.

 

“Your actions define your character, your words define your wisdom, but your treatment of others defines REAL you.”~ Mayur Ramgir

 

Today, I challenge you to let your light shine brightly by allowing others to have the proper perspective about you.  The question is what do they see that words cannot express who you are with your character on display for all the world to see?

 

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/what-actions-define-your-character/

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This week my inspirations come from the Doctor’s Office.  As I waited to get my knees injected there was a sign in the intake office that hit home.

 

It was a simple sign “Grow Through what you go Through”

 

Immediately I thought of a Priest who serves as the Chaplain for the Knights of Peter Claver in the Birmingham Diocese.

 

I’ve heard him give homilies many times and for some reason it’s one of his taglines, that you must go through it, to get to it.

 

The same principle, just the words are in a different order.

 

When I look back over 2024, how fitting as I reflect on what I went through this year to get to it.

 

By the way, Happy New Year to all who are contributors to my blogs.

 

Life is challenging enough, and we must permit ourselves to fail sometimes.

 

I’m also reminded of the phrase “What you resist persists.”

 

What did Carl Jung mean by what you resist persists? – Control Your Mindset

 

Having studied the works of Carl Jung.   “What he meant by that is the more you resist anything in life, the more you bring it to you.”

 

We can procrastinate and resist various things or eventually, we will meet that task head-on.

 

I enjoy studying the brain including reading nonfiction books that will help my self-development.

 

In doing so I continue to learn that we can have either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.

 

I chose the latter.

 

This week, with many making New Year’s resolutions, I wonder how many are going to choose to have a growth mindset moving into 2025.

 

Think about, what is it that we are afraid to accomplish that we put off in 2024 that still haunts us each day in 2025.

 

“Understand that open doors may lead to unexpected destinations in God’s Plan.” ~ Rick Piña

 

Therefore, when God opens a door, walk through it with trust and confidence which I have in 2024.

 

Each of us has grown over the last 365 days and I’m quite sure we have learned a few things about ourselves, myself included.

 

As we prepare for Inauguration Day 2025 with President Trump swearing-in on a federal holiday, this year, it overlaps Martin Luther King Jr. Day.   Today, I think about what we all have gone through to get to this moment.

 

We are also in the United States preparing for President Carter’s Funeral who died just before the New Year began (December 29, 2024).

 

What we know about funeral plans for former President Jimmy Carter

 

Jimmy Carter’s 6-day state funeral begins with a motorcade through south Georgia

 

Later this week, President Jimmy Carter’s, national funeral will be held at the National Cathedral on January 9, which President Joe Biden marked as a National Day of Mourning and has called on U.S. citizens to assemble “in their respective places of worship” to pay homage to the former president.

 

As I think about all that took place with President Carter and what he had to go through to get to this point it’s amazing.

 

Particularly when I read that two eulogies are being read which were written for President Carter.

A eulogy, written for Carter by former president Gerald R. Ford, will be read at Carter’s funeral, and another political, former Vice President Walter F. Mondale – who served as VP for Carter.

 

Gerald Ford died in 2006 at the age of 93. His son, Steven Ford, is expected to read his eulogy to Carter.

 

Walter Mondale died in 2021 at the age of 93. His son, Ted Mondale, will read the eulogy for Carter.

 

It’s a matter of what type of legacy we want to leave behind.

 

Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States and the recipient of the 2002 Nobel Peace Prize for his post-presidential work, was the longest-lived U.S. president in history and the first president to reach the age of 100.

 

On Thursday, January 9, 2025, I challenge you on this National Day of Mourning to think about what others will say about you in your journey of “grow through it to get to it!”

 

“The journey is never-ending. There’s always gonna be growth, improvement, adversity; you just gotta take it all in and do what’s right, continue to grow, continue to live in the moment.” ~  Antonio Brown

 

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ~John F. Kennedy

 

I believe Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States lived by his words!

 

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/you-have-to-grow-through-it-to-get-to-it/

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This past week I needed to find the right answers in solving a dilemma and had less than 24 hours to figure it out.

 

I’m sure many of us have experienced things in our lives where we needed the right answers to fix a problem.

 

Mine this week happens to be related to a computer problem.

 

In my humble opinion technology these days can be challenging, yet I’m amazed that there has always been someone who has already experienced that same problem.

 

In life, each of us must be able to look in the right places as well and find solutions to our challenges or problems.

 

However, finding the right place is not always easy.

 

I hold many certificates and degrees yet for almost six to eight hours I continued to try and figure on my own my specific computer challenges.

 

It was a very draining process racing against the clock.

 

If you know anything about the DiSC® Model or Assessment, I’m a High “C” and I need to analyze everything until it makes sense.

 

DISC theory is a model used to describe human behavior, based on four personality traits: Dominance (D), Influence (I), Steadiness (S), and Conscientiousness (C).

 

Science behind DiSC® – DiSC Profile

 

What is the DiSC assessment? – DiSC Profile

 

Today, I’m so aware of my specific behaviors and the behaviors of others as it relates to problem-solving as a Trained DiSC® consultant, I must remind myself not to overthink the problem.

 

However, I found myself being persistent in being able to solve my computer problems based on my ability to do the work.

 

It was almost as if there was a specific Yin and Yang in my life working.

 

If you have ever read anything about Lao Tzu the Chinese Taoist Sage who died in 531 BC, then you will know what I’m talking about.

 

“The way gives birth to the one, the one gives birth to the two, from the two come three, and the three create the ten thousand things.  The Ten Thousand Things carry yin and embrace Yang.”

 

I had so many things that I had to search for and steps in solving my computer problems.

 

I also had a sudden reflection on the late Wayne Dyer about “Change your thoughts, change your life Living the Wisdom of the Tao.”

 

Bing Videos

 

Chapter 42, Tao Te Ching (Dao De Jing) by Lao Tzu (Laozi): English Translations, Index, Commentary, Links, Daoism, Resources, Wade-Giles and Pinyin Romanizations

 

was a sense of trust and judgment also that I had to exercise in looking for others with the same issues that I had.

 

If I were to say anything, it was that I ended up betting on myself to solve the problem.

 

In the end, there was a sense of maturity about being able to solve my computer problems.

 

I’ll close with the knowledge that I learned this week as the second candle of Advent was lit, concerning the word “prepare.”

 

We are never really prepared for when a catastrophe hits however, we must have a plan in finding the right answers.

 

My catastrophe was my computer restarting on its own about every 45-60 minutes without any notification.

 

I ended up being able to find the right answers and, in the end, built up a specific amount of confidence and maturity to handle my internal crisis.

 

This week, I challenge you to find the right answers to your problems in life and build on your maturity. Take some time also and assess if you have not already done so by determining your specific behavior patterns.

 

“The answers are all out there, we just need to ask the right questions.”  ~ Oscar Wilde

 

Or as Thomas J. Watson would say “The ability to ask the right question is more than half the battle of finding the right answer.”

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/finding-the-right-answers/

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“To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Let me pose a question to you today.  Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

 

Today, I can’t stop thinking about the words from the book of Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

My purpose for asking this question is many times at least for me I try to follow or understand what the Holy Spirit is speaking to me about.

 

This is not meant to be a sermon or intended to give you any prophecies.  It is however for me to share my faith and understanding God’s grace on my specific calling or purpose in life.

 

It’s also about following your intuition in life and being the best version of yourself.

 

This past weekend I attended my 50^th Class Reunion in Williamsburg, VA and it was spectacular.

 

Ironically, a few months prior I was thinking about when my 50^th Class Reunion was when one of my friends was telling me about attending her class reunion.

 

About 30 days later, I received a letter in the mail from the committee chairperson notifying me of my 50^th class reunion.  The letter provided what steps to take on Facebook and the email addresses to contact them if I was going to attend.

 

Without hesitation I began to make plans to attend this historic event, knowing 50 years is a milestone that many have yet to experience.

 

When I arrived at the Hotel this past Thursday night, one of my classmates, which I didn’t recognize, politely asked me if I was there for the Denbigh High School 50^th Class Reunion.

 

It was through that conversation that lasted an hour when I found out the last and only class reunion (our tenth year) happened in 1984.

 

I also attended our tenth-year class reunion.

 

Knowing that information made this past weekend even more special hearing her speak about those she hung out with and that she was responsible for finding the venue for the dinner on Saturday night.

 

It was heartbreaking to also hear of those who were deceased and how God has allowed me the opportunity to be in the presence of all those attending this past weekend.

 

In addition, during the tour of our high school, we went into the cafeteria, and I asked if it was okay to speak to the Varsity Football Team.  They were assembled there with the coach before they played our rival on Friday night.

 

I was given the green light to speak as many of my classmates who listened to me also attended the game and tried to reenergize our losing team to excel.  It was an experience that you just had to be there to experience.

 

Although we may have lost the football game, in spirit, we won by being present for our team.

 

Embracing “Everything happens for a reason,” and what took place this weekend was the fellowship and seeing each other while everyone caught up on each other’s lives and events.

 

Knowing that family is important, anytime I’m close or in the vicinity of where I grew up, I also spent some time with two of my siblings, which made it special.  I was also able to pay my respects by visiting my mother’s gravesite with one of my sisters who lives in the area.

 

This weekend although fast-paced pace reminded me of Seals & Crofts – We May Never Pass This Way Again.

Bing Videos

 

Today, I realize how blessed I am knowing fifty years ago to have graduated from High School, gone straight into the Army, attained the rank of Command Sergeant Major, and retired twice (Military and Civilian).

 

It’s a humbling experience when you find out those who are not here today, and you are by the grace of God.

 

I am so glad that I listened to the Holy Spirit in deciding to attend my 50^th class reunion.  Had I not I would not have connected with who our family affectionately calls “Mom’s Angel!”  (Karen).  My mother worked for Dr. Karen as her Dental Assistant.

 

After Dr. Karen retired, she and my mother forged a bond well beyond anything we could imagine.  Karen would drive from Williamsburg to Hampton, which on a good day is a 30-minute drive when traffic is flowing well.  Karen would take my mother to hospital appointments; help clean her house while living in an Assisted Living Community and pick up her medications for her.

 

This is why we call her Mom’s Angel.

 

I was Dr. Karen’s last weekend in Williamsburg, VA before moving to Colorado to assist her daughter.

 

Karen made a special trip to visit me and my wife on Friday, which was ironically All Saint’s Day.

 

On Saturday, I visited my Mother’s Gravesite which was All Souls Day.

 

I could not have planned what happened this weekend any better.

 

The entire weekend was humbling and rewarding. A tour of our school, Pizza at a local (nostalgic establishment) that celebrated 50 years of existence, a Football Game, and a Banquet.

 

When I read the names of my classmates who were deceased and looked at all the pictures displayed many died before they turned 50 years old.

 

I may not know of the specific circumstances behind their deaths; however, I do know that each of them is my classmates and it’s by God’s grace that I’m here today.

 

Today, I challenge everyone to take a moment and reflect on the words “Everything there is a season, and everything happens at just the right time.”

 

Each of us is blessed to be alive and in sound mind.

 

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” ~ Mae West

 

Blog source: https://mckinleysthoughts.com/to-everything-there-is-a-season/

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